


Clarity

by jjong



Category: VIXX
Genre: Angst and Mush, Lack of Communication, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-08-24 02:22:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8352853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjong/pseuds/jjong
Summary: A courtship in shambles. Wonsik and Taekwoon work things out.





	

They'd been dancing around the attraction for a while.

Flirty glances quickly aborted when they remembered where they were but there had always been something. Something barely tangible but impossible to ignore hanging heavily in the air between them.

When LR happened and they were around each other and only each other for a lot longer, it didn't come as a shock to either of them when things just kind of escalated beyond their control.

The very first time, it was one of the many long nights leading up to the record release. Where the days bled into dusk and the tension just kept mounting as Wonsik was forced to sit in the studio with a hard-on, listening to Taekwoon sing Wonsik's own words back at him for hours on end.

Afterwards, when the producer had called time and sent them home, all Wonsik could do was grind out a "Good job, hyung" and head straight for a cold shower.

Only it didn't work out that way.

Taekwoon cornered Wonsik in his room and confronted him about the weirdness, about why Wonsik could barely talk to him, couldn't look at him. And then he'd noticed the way Wonsik was wound up tight like a spring, noticed that he was hard in his pants and Taekwoon's mouth fell open on a silent, "oh."

Things happened relatively fast after that.

They hadn't the patience to take their clothes off and the best they could do was get their pants open and their underwear pushed down just enough for things to go smoothly.

Wonsik sat astride Taekwoon's hips, thighs spread wide but not wide enough, straining against the denim of his jeans and frantically got his hand around both of their cocks, jerking them off with rough, uncoordinated movements. Wonsik shivered as Taekwoon's big hands worked their way under his boxers and clenched and unclenched in time with Wonsik's unsteady strokes.

Wonsik came first with a half-aborted shout of Taekwoon's name, pleasure running through him in waves and spilling onto Taekwoon's shirt in a torrential flood. Wonsik had been so embarassed he couldn't speak, his teeth still tingling from the intensity of his orgasm.

Taekwoon's mouth dropped open as he stared at Wonsik's hands and rucked his t-shirt up his chest and dragged a hand downwards through the mess, rubbing Wonsik's come into his own skin with a whine before taking a firm grip on Wonsik's waist and rolling them over. Once he was on top, there was nothing Wonsik could do except hang on for the ride as Taekwoon ground down against his overstimulated body.

Wonsik groaned and felt his cock twitch with renewed interest as Taekwoon used the hand coated in Wonsik's come to fist at his own dick, eyes closed on a whine. And that had come as a surprise to Wonsik, who never expected Taekwoon to be loud. He didn't actually say anything, not that first time, but he made these little noises, a steady stream of breathy whimpers that shook his entire frame and turned Wonsik on so much he had to bite into his own hand to keep from crying out and waking up the entire dorm.

Going forward, they often fell into bed together in a dizzying rush of passion, half dressed and rutting against each other like teenagers.

Only now it's less about the sex and more about Wonsik blindly following Taekwoon's lead and not knowing what the fuck is going on with them or where they're headed.

For Wonsik, just getting to be with Taekwoon is enough.

Until it isn't.

They're at the end of a long week and blessedly, they've been given a reprieve for the weekend with no schedule until Monday evening.

And yet, there's a catch because of course there is. Nothing's ever easy.

Things between them have been... _off_ to say the least. Taekwoon's been quiet. Which, _duh_ , he's always quiet but it's been a heavy, loaded silence, laced with something else. Wonsik will catch Taekwoon staring at him, quickly averting his eyes when they meet Wonsik's and every time Taekwoon will open his mouth to say something and every time he stops himself before the words can form.

It's infuriating because around the others, Taekwoon is fine. He messes with Hongbin and sits and talks with Hakyeon and he's just... fine. He's normal. It's only when he's alone with Wonsik that this strangeness rears its ugly, unwelcome head and it's leading Wonsik to the inevitable conclusion that _he_ must be the problem.

It's friday night and Wonsik's on the couch, he put a movie on but he's not really watching it, he's mostly just spacing out. Hakyeon's been dozing on his shoulder for the past hour or so.

It's nice.

Cozy.

Taekwoon slopes into view, casting a distracted glance Wonsik's way before dropping down onto the other side of the sofa. Wonsik instantly snaps back to his senses, his entire body tensing tight to the point where he's prety sure the sudden rigidity of his shoulders is what wakes Hakyeon up.

"Oh no," Hakyeon moans, sleepily, "I missed the movie. It's not that I wasn't enjoying it, Ravi-yah. I guess I'm more tired than I thought." Wonsik smiles because Hakyeon fell asleep before the titles were over but his sincerity is sweet and ridiculous and Wonsik is glad he's here to break the tension of Taekwoon's sudden appearance.

"You should get some sleep, hyung. You worked hard today." Taekwoon says, looking up from his phone and Wonsik knows that yeah, Hakyeon does need to sleep (they all do), but there is a small traitorous side of him that wants to hang on to his leader with both hands and beg him not to leave just yet.

_I don't know what's gonna happen if you leave me alone with him, please don't go._

"Yeah, I might go do that. _Man_ , I'm beat." Hakyeon stands up and stretches, his back popping with a painful crack. "Good night, kids. Don't stay up too late." He pats Wonsik on the head and wiggles his fingers at Taekwoon and then he's gone.

Hakyeon is gone and Wonsik is left alone with Taekwoon.

Taekwoon whose phone is no longer anywhere in sight and is looking at Wonsik out of the corner of his eye.

Shit.

"What are you watching?" Taekwoon asks and Wonsik jumps because he genuinely wasn't expecting to hear Taekwoon's voice, not now that Hakyeon's gone and there's no one left to address except Wonsik himself.

"I, uh- I can't remember." Wonsik stutters, stupidly because he can't, even though he's seen this movie about ten times. He can't think about anything other than Taekwoon, who is suddenly a lot closer than he was before, in the space beside Wonsik previously occupied by Hakyeon and when did that happen? He can't think of anything besides the heat of Taekwoon's body, the way he smells and talks and smiles and Wonsik has to close his eyes to steady himself.

He's so far gone on this man, it's not even funny.

"We can watch something else, if you want." Wonsik says, hurriedly, anything to keep this rare moment of communication going. Keep Taekwoon talking.

"No, this is fine." Taekwoon says in a light tone, settling back against the couch, his arm brushing Wonsik's, making him shiver.

"Oh. Okay." Wonsik feels like his heart is about to burst. He can't do this, doesn't want to do this. He doesn't want to have to guess what Taekwoon's thinking. He's never been good at that. What's more he doesn't feel like he should have to be good at that.

Taekwoon should be able to tell him what he's thinking, he used to.

_What changed?_

Wonsik, in the midst of an internal meltdown, just about starts yelling when Taekwoon's hand finds his, hooking their pinkies together. There can be no other explanation, Taekwoon wants him dead and that's that. "I've missed you." Taekwoon says, quietly, bowing his head so his hair brushes Wonsik's, touching but not touching.

Wonsik is so lost.

But Taekwoon is here with Wonsik. He's talking, he's not running away and Wonsik will take the positives where he can get them.

Determined to keep this winning streak going, Wonsik waits to let Taekwoon take the lead.

Taekwoon is just kinda sitting there with a meaningful look on his face and Wonsik is almost certain that he, Taekwoon, is going to say something. That finally, _finally_ something's going to give and this Thing between them - whatever it is - is going to be put into words at last.

And then Sanghyuk crashes into the room to tell them that he's tired and that he's going to sleep for a week and that they are not to disturb him Or Else.

Wonsik could kill him.

Taekwoon, for his part, doesn't seem fazed at all and bids their irreverent youngest a quiet goodnight. Wonsik wants to cry because they were having a Moment. Things were being put in motion and now the moment has passed and the mood is gone and Taekwoon- Taekwoon is still sitting there, actually. That same serene expression on his face and Wonsik fidgets, nervous, because maybe the moment isn't too far gone.

They can get it back.

He can hear Sanghyuk down the hall, giving the same warning to Hongbin. Someone's in the shower - Hakyeon, probably. Who the hell knows where Jaehwan is. And ultimately that is the thought that spurs him into action because the last thing he needs is Jaehwan bursting in on them and interloping on what could potentially be the most significant turning point of their relationship, such as it is.

He doesn't need prep time, he's been psyching himself up for a while now, mostly subconsciously but doing it nonetheless. He's known for the last few weeks now that this tenuous tight rope walk of a relationship they've been balancing on has been threatening to knock them both on their asses. He has to just come out and say it.

_What is this?_

_What are we?_

He turns to Taekwoon, determined and swiftly loses his train of thought because Taekwoon is watching him now, curious. He looks soft, his face natural and pretty after his shower.

God, he's so lovely.

Wonsik promptly forgets what he wanted to say. 

Right. _What is this, what are we._ Wonsik repeats the words in his head like a mantra because he needs answers and he needs them now. If Taekwoon isn't going to supply them off his own steam then Wonsik will just have to take a more direct approach.

"Hyung, I think we need to talk." That gets Taekwoon's attention, he no longer looks so damn calm and Wonsik charges forward on adrenaline more than anything else. "I need to know your take on things."

"What things?" Taekwoon asks, shifting away from Wonsik and throwing up walls once more.

"Everything," Wonsik gestures between their bodies, as if doing so can sum up their whole relationship. The ups and downs and the messy blowjobs that more often than not resulted in laughter rather than orgasms and the soft, happy kisses stolen in the dead of night. "All of this."

"It just is what it is, Wonsik. I don't know what you want me to say."

"I want you to tell me what's going on." Wonsik isn't proud of the pleading tone his voice adopts but he's beyond giving a shit at this point. _It is what it is_. What does that even _mean_. He's sorting this out once and for all and if Taekwoon has a problem with that then fuck him.

"Nothing's going on?" Taekwoon says, in a strange questioning lilt. His stress levels have shot way up, Wonsik can tell from the wild look dancing behind Taekwoon's eyes.

"Is it me, are you not attracted to me anymore? If you're not I get it, these things happen but you gotta - "

"It's not you!" Taekwoon almost shouts, and it's such an immediate response that Wonsik almost blushes.

"It's not?"  Taekwoon squirms uncomfortably under Wonsik's gaze. Wonsik grabs hold of his thigh to keep him still. To keep him grounded. To keep him on this sofa beside Wonsik and not running away to god knows where.

Taekwoon shakes his head, deliberately not looking at Wonsik and says, "I'm so attracted to you, it scares me sometimes." Oh.

 _Oh_. Well, that explains some things but -

"It's like you've been somewhere else recently. Talk to me, hey, what's up with you?" When Taekwoon doesn't respond, Wonsik feels his blood boil, his stomach jumps and he just wants to grab him and shake him so all the secrets, all the hidden thoughts come spilling out of Taekwoon's pretty, maddening head.

"God damn it, Taekwoon! Could you just _talk_ to me for once? I know it's difficult for you but you have to try because we're a couple and this is what couples do. The normal ones, anyway." He foregoes the honorific on purpose because he knows it pisses Taekwoon off and Wonsik doesn't want to be alone in his vitriol.

"You want me to talk to you? What should I say, Wonsik, you want me to introduce you to my parents, huh? You've already met them. I can't take you out to meet my friends because they're your friends too. I'm not about to hold your hand in the middle of the street just so people know that you're mine. I can't, don't you get that?"

"I fucking get it, alright?" Wonsik snaps, hackles raised and holding his ground, getting right up in Taekwoon's face, which is difficult to do considering they're both still sitting on the too-soft sofa. Taekwoon looks at him, his face such a wretched picture of defeat that Wonsik almost wants to give in and kiss him until he's smiling again.

"Well, did it ever occur to you that maybe I want to do those things?" Seemingly losing steam - this is more words than Taekwoon's used to saying at such a high volume - Taekwoon sighs, his entire demeanour softening. He rakes his fingers through his hair, quietly frustrated. "You're right. This isn't normal but we're not a normal couple. We can't be."

"I know," Wonsik tells him, stilling the frantic back and forth of Taekwoon's hands. He locks their fingers together and hangs on tight. "I'm sorry."

Wonsik feels terrible. He went in on Taekwoon for not opening up but it's not like Wonsik's the most effective communicator around. He's a hypocrite and a shitty boyfriend is what he is.

What follows is a stalemate - with both of them staring at each other and trying not to cry.

Hakyeon's out of the shower now, Wonsik can hear him bid Hongbin goodnight. If either of them heard Wonsik and Taekwoon's little altercation - and really, how could they not have - they're staying out of it.

Wonsik's grateful for that. This is something they really should work out on their own and yet, here they are. Silent once more and clutching each other's hands.

His mind wandering, Wonsik's gaze has inevitably drifted to Taekwoon's lips. He should kiss him. He wants to. _God_ , does he want to but would Taekwoon let him? Wonsik wouldn't blame him if not.

In the end, Taekwoon unknowingly answers that question for him, surging forward and claiming Wonsik's lips in a bruising kiss. It's sloppy and loud and Wonsik can feel his entire body heat up. His eyes are still open but Taekwoon's are closed and Wonsik groans and grabs at Taekwoon, needy, wanting him closer. When it gets hard to breath and the discomfort in his lungs is winning out over the rest of his body's insistence to keep his tongue in Taekwoon's mouth at all costs - he breaks away from the kiss and Taekwoon actually _whines_ at the loss. Wonsik doesn't move too far, though. They sit nose to nose, panting into each other's mouths and Taekwoon takes a shaky breath in and says, "Go out with me."

Wonsik blinks, still in a daze. "To the store?"

"You know what I mean." Taekwoon says, his voice impossibly small. "We have the next two days off. Go on a date with me."

Wonsik just sort of stares at him, awestruck, and Taekwoon flushes and ducks his head, embarrassed. "Not a "date" date, obviously but just - a date for us..." Taekwoon trails off, looking shy and uncomfortable and Wonsik could kick himself when Taekwoon says, "It's fine if you don't want to."

Wonsik breaks out of his stupor and says, in a garbled rush, "I want to! Of course I do." And then he laughs because he can't help himself, almost delirious with relief and clinging to Taekwoon's sleeve.

He thinks back to how this all started with a handjob to take the edge off the exhaustion. How Wonsik had had Taekwoon's dick in his mouth long before they'd had their first kiss. And he had _really_ wanted to kiss him but he'd been stupid and stopped himself every time.

Until one day, they'd woken up together and something felt different.

Good different but different all the same.

Maybe it was because they hadn't had sex the night before, they'd simply been exhausted and crawled into bed, curling around each other before passing out.

Maybe it was the way Taekwoon had smiled at him, sleepy and soft and barely awake above the covers. Maybe it was something within Wonsik, himself. He'd opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was Taekwoon, sharing his pillow and looking at him with such a lovely, unguarded expression on his face and this time, Wonsik couldn't stop.

His fingers found their way into Taekwoon's hair and and his body had shifted, moving impossibly closer against Taekwoon's and Taekwoon had gasped so, so quietly when Wonsik brought their lips together. For the rest of that day, they'd stuck close to each other and when they got back to the dorm at the end of the night Taekwoon had pulled him into a kiss that Wonsik felt all the way down to his toes and told him he looked cute in his sweater and Wonsik positively lit up, feeling warm and tingly and cared for.

That's what's nice about this, Wonsik thinks, the security. Despite the breakdown in communication, he feels safe with Taekwoon. Like they're in a little bubble totally separate to the dangers lurking in the dark.

And going on a date is definitely just flirting with disaster. Wonsik isn't trying to flirt with disaster, he wants to flirt with Taekwoon and Taekwoon's asking him on a date. Well, not a "date" date but still. It's a start.

"Why are you laughing?" Taekwoon asks, self-conscious.

"It feels like we've been doing this out of step, somehow. Just now going on our first date." Wonsik tells him, wiping at his eyes and feeling lighter than he has in a long, long time.

"There's more than one way to be a couple," Taekwoon says, straightening up like he's on the defensive and working to keep his voice even, "right?"

Wonsik - getting a little (a lot) choked up - doesn't trust himself to speak but he nods and kisses Taekwoon on the nose and hopes that he takes it as an affirmative response.

"It's been a long time coming." Wonsik muses, burying his face in Taekwoon's neck so he doesn't embarrass himself when the inevitable tears start to flow.

"Yeah." Taekwoon agrees, quietly and runs a hand down Wonsik's spine just to make him shiver.

**Author's Note:**

> i've never written for vixx before, this was strange and new and exciting!!  
> you can reach me on [tumblr](http://bom-park.tumblr.com) ♥


End file.
